As I woke up this morning at FOUR O'CLOCK (I really do love you, Mister! It is my day off!!!) just to go to the gym together before headed out on his weekly "this is what we have to do right now." journey, I realized that we have started to be in a complacent and unpleasant weekend rut. I moan about his absence all week and then when he is home on the weekend, I catch myself in my silly, pity party about how much I do (So true!), how overworked I am (Completely unfair!), how unbelievable tired I am (I am sure due to the overwork!), and frankly just about life in general. Can I get an AMEN?!??!?! Then I began to realize how completely "un-fun", "un-pleasant", and just quite frankly "un-sexy" my attitude must be for the poor man gone all week.Let me give you a typical Sunday evening scenario.
Mister and I get home from the gym. Mister is complaining about the new church time. I am tired of hearing about this time wondering how he feels I can change the situation. Now I am angry because already my attempt at being a better Christian has changed due to said conversation. Mister and I discuss dinner options. ("What do you want for dinner?" "I don't care, what do you want?" Question proposed to Little Man and Biz, "What would you like for dinner?" "We don't care." "How about taco's?" "No, we don't want that?" "What then?" "We don't care, really." Hum...see the pattern?This goes on for literally minutes.) So I cook dinner. I beg and plead with said Children and Mister to clean up the kitchen. Mister and Children pick up kitchen while Mom/Wife/ME does the laundry and packs Misters suitcase. Then I go behind Mister and Children to clean the kitchen again. Mister asks me, "What's wrong?" I say, "Nothing. It is fine." Mister says "OK." I internally curse at Mister for not wiping the counters, unloading the dishwasher, and oh ya, by the way, why am I required to do all the laundry? Mister sits down and rough houses with the children completely unaware of my internal monologue. Mister asks me, "Ready to go to bed?" Finally I have had enough and I explode, "Why do you not do anything around here?!?!?" Mister...."Um, what did I do this time?" I realize I have overreacted.......again. Mister sighs and ultimately forgives me....once again.
Mister and I get home from the gym. Mister is complaining about the new church time. I am tired of hearing about this time wondering how he feels I can change the situation. Now I am angry because already my attempt at being a better Christian has changed due to said conversation. Mister and I discuss dinner options. ("What do you want for dinner?" "I don't care, what do you want?" Question proposed to Little Man and Biz, "What would you like for dinner?" "We don't care." "How about taco's?" "No, we don't want that?" "What then?" "We don't care, really." Hum...see the pattern?This goes on for literally minutes.) So I cook dinner. I beg and plead with said Children and Mister to clean up the kitchen. Mister and Children pick up kitchen while Mom/Wife/ME does the laundry and packs Misters suitcase. Then I go behind Mister and Children to clean the kitchen again. Mister asks me, "What's wrong?" I say, "Nothing. It is fine." Mister says "OK." I internally curse at Mister for not wiping the counters, unloading the dishwasher, and oh ya, by the way, why am I required to do all the laundry? Mister sits down and rough houses with the children completely unaware of my internal monologue. Mister asks me, "Ready to go to bed?" Finally I have had enough and I explode, "Why do you not do anything around here?!?!?" Mister...."Um, what did I do this time?" I realize I have overreacted.......again. Mister sighs and ultimately forgives me....once again.
Does this happen to you or am I the only crazy Wife/Mom on this Earth? Our schedules can make it so difficult not to focus on the smallest of things sometimes and today I realized that if I can write this event down verbatim, that it possibly happens WAY to often in our house. I need to learn from our Sunday evening ritual so I won't beat myself up about it all week just to do it again before Mister leaves. Wouldn't that be freeing? To just learn and stop the madness? How does that quote go, "Doing the same thing will only create the same results." or something like that. So right now, I proclaim to the blogiverse, I am going to rededicate myself (and the Mister, but he doesn't know it yet!) to treating our marriage and family time like what it is and should be...at the risk of sounding all disco...ish, We Are FAMILY! Sometimes, when you've been together as long as we have, maybe it is normal to be more like roommates than Husband and Wife. Then add kids to the mix and maybe, just maybe we get lost.....
NO MORE I SAY!
So, today my focus is on our marriage and the vows we made many moons ago. Wish me luck!!!
NO MORE I SAY!
So, today my focus is on our marriage and the vows we made many moons ago. Wish me luck!!!
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1 comment:
I really don't think you and Ron have lost your love for each other. Things do change as you raise your family and that becomes your prime focus. But the best part is yet to come. I can truly say I loved your dad more than ever the last few years of his life. When your man comes home early and your heart skips a beat even after 26 years of marriage, you can say your love has held the test. Keep your eyes open on how you can make him happy and just keep taking one day at a time and let God do the rest.
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